高分满分作文借鉴 10页

名校高分满分作文借鉴话题一：旅游／风俗习惯外国友人来信咨询在北京要注意的风土人情和文化习俗，请你写一封回信介绍并提醒他在北京需要注意的风俗习惯并如何得体的表现，包括打招呼、餐桌礼仪及家庭法则。提示词：Greetingtablemannershomerules范文一：（101中学15分）HowtobehavewhenwearetravellingNowadays,moreandmoreChinesepeopleprefertotravelaroundtheworld.TheybringtheChinesetraditionalvirtueabroad,butatthesametime,someoftheirbehaviorsreallydamageChinesereputationintheworld.It’snecessaryforustolearnhowtobehavewhenwe’retravelling.Aboveall,we’resupposedtobecivilizedwhilevisitingfamousplaces.Insteadofdoingboringthingslikecuttingnamesonhistoricalsites,listeningtotheguidesareencouragedinordertoshowourrespectforthecountry.It’salsoabadbehaviortotakephotossecretlywithoutpermission.Intherestaurant,it’simpolitetotalkwithfriendsloudly,whichmayannoyothers.Whydon’twelearnsomepolitewordsinforeignlanguageandtrytocommunicatewithlocalpeople?Thisreallyhelpsustohaveabetterunderstandingaboutdifferentcultures.Whyarewesupposedtodoso?Goodmannersmakeourtourmorecomfortableandpleasant.Asweallwanttohaveaharmoniousenvironmenttolivein,politebehaviorsleaveagoodimpressiononeverybody’sheart.OurcoursesaresymbolofChina,andeachChineseshouldpayhisowneffort.（189字）点评：整体看，作者运用长句的能力很强，而且文章的组织性很强，内容很充实，全篇无语法错误再加上高级的长句运用，当然必须满分。1.开篇内容很充实，有标黄长句，用词地道，搭配贴切，给评委很好的第一印象。2.中间标红句子运用without这一小词非常地道。3.结尾部分也有标黄长句，再次形成前后呼应，开头结尾都有高级长句坐镇，所以文章从内容从形式上都是一流水准。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.bringtheChinesetraditionalvirtueabroad把中国美德带到国外2.damageChinesereputationintheworld破坏中国在国际上的名声3.haveabetterunderstandingof…更好掌握…4.it’salsoabadbehaviorto…=wearenotsupposedto…不建议做某事5.wanttohaveaharmoniousenvironmenttolivein想要有一个和谐的生存环境6.besymbolofsth.是某事的象征10 1.sth.leaveagoodimpressiononeverybody’sheart.某事在某人心中留下好的印象2.insteadofdoingsth,doingsth.isencouragedinorderto…与其做某事（不好的事）…做某事（好事）是值得鼓励的，因为这样可以（后加好处）范文二：（101中学15分）HowtobeacivilizedtouristFromtimetotimeitwasreportedthatChinesetouristbehavebadlywhentravelling.Itseemsparticularlyimportanttotelleveryonehowtobeacivilizedtouristnow.Firstofall,weareobligatedtoactproperly,orrather,bepoliteandfollowlocalruleswhentravelling.Obviously,litteringanddamaginghistoricalsitesbyengravingletters,whicharecommonamongtourist,arehateful.Wearedefinitelynotsupposedtodoso.Tobecivilized,weshouldbehavepolitely.Aswell-educatedpeople,touristarenotsupposedtotalkloudlyinpublic,whichisreallyannoying.Inaddition,Isuggestlearningsomelocalcustomsbeforewegotravelling,sothatwewon’tbreaktherulesunconsciouslywhentravelling.Thelocalswillbegladtoseeusbehaveintheirwaysandwe’llfeelalotmorerelaxedtoenjoyourtrip,avoidingthecaseswhenwe’reblindabouthowtobehaveproperlyandpolitely.Theseareallabouthowtobecivilizedtourists.Andweshouldneverignorethatourbehaviorsnotonlyrepresentourpersonalqualitiesandmanners,theyalsosymbolizethequalitiesofweChinese.（185字）点评：这篇文章没有上一篇好，原因在于1.没有分段。层次性不够强。2.句型相对比较单一，长句结构不够丰富3.使用的高级词汇以及地道用法也不如上一篇多但这篇还是得到满分的主要在于无语法错误，表示建议类的句型比较丰富，并且句型在使用的时候比较地道的体现在于有插入语的运用。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.Itseemsparticularlyimportantto…做某事看起来尤其重要2.tobeacivilizedtourist做一个文明的游客3.weareobligatedtoactproperly我们有责任举止妥当4.breaktherulesunconsciously无意中没有遵守规则5.Thelocalswillbegladtoseeusbehaveintheirways按照当地人的做事风格来做会让他们很开心。（此处如果能引用DoasRomansdo也不错。）6.representourpersonalqualities代表我们的个人品行7.symbolizethequalitiesofweChinese.代表我们中国人的品行（注意这里两个代表“represent”和“symbolize”体现词汇的丰富性）范文三：（101中学14分）10 HowtobehavewhenwearetravellingItisbelievedthat“havinggoodmanners”isoneoftheChinesecultures.Unfortunately,manyChinesetouristsbehavebadlywhiletheyaretravelling.Asastudent,everyoneshouldbehaveasacivilizedtourist.Everyoneplaysanimportantpartwhiletravelling,especiallyinforeigncountries.Firstofall,wearenotsupposedtospeakloudlywhentravellingasenjoyingthebeautifulsceneryisfarmoreimportant.Ofcourse,wearenotexpectedtolittleordamagethehistoricalsites.Thefamousplacesofinterestalwaysfullofpeople.Insteadofjumpingthequeue,wehadbetterstandinlineandwait.Thebehaviorofpersonreflectsthespiritofhisnation.ItisreportedthatmoreandmoreChinesetouristshavebadmannerswhilethey’retravellingabroad.Inordertosolveit,weshouldbehavewellwhenwearetravelling.Havinggoodmannerscannotonlyprotecttheplaceswevisit,butcanchangewhatforeignpeoplethinkofChinesepeople.Althoughthere’sstilllongwaytogo,Ibelievethatthebetterwebehave,thebetterfuturetherewillbe.（180字）点评：此篇和前两篇满分作文相比，差距较大1.最大的一个问题就是重复语意太多，几乎每一句的后面都有一个when/while(weare)travelling.（共出现5次）此外句子类型不够丰富，有车呼噜话来回说之嫌。2.此外，开头不够精彩，相对开头，结尾比较突出，特别是notonly…butalso…这句写得比较好。但还是得到了14分的高分，主要是因为语法错误较少（主要是人称和数的变化的一致性，此篇已经进行更改），要点齐全，有运用长句的意识，句子间的衔接比较自然。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.Itisbelievedthat据说…(还可以进行升级为itisbelievedwithoutexceptionthat…)2.playsanimportantpartin…在某事中扮演重要的角色3.sth.isfarmoreimportant某事更加重要4.Insteadofdoingsth.,wehadbetterdo…与其做某事，我们最好做…5.Sth.reflectsthespiritofsth.某事反映了…6.There’sstilllongwaytogo.还有很长的路要走。7.thebetterwebehave,thebetterfuturetherewillbe.我们举止越好，未来就越美好。话题二：写人／TheHeroinMyHeart范文一：（人大附15分）Everyonehastheheroinhisheart.Asforme,IhavealwaysregardedmyEnglishteacherasmyherobecauseofherpatientandkindness.Tobeginwith,asateacher,shehasalwaysbeenveryindustriousandcarefultowardsher10 work.Notonlyisshearesponsibleperson,butalsosheisveryoptimisticandoftenencouragesustoworkharderwhenwefeeldown.Lastbutnotleast,sheisthoughtfulandpatientandisalwaystheretohelpuswhenwecomeacrossproblemseitherwithourstudiesorwithourlives.Forexample,onceIgotveryanxiousbeforethefinalexambecauseIalwaysmadesmallmistakesinmytasksandhomework.Aftershelearnedaboutthis,sheinvitedmetositnexttoherandspentalongtimetalkingwithmeandgivingmeadviceonhowtokeepcalm,whichhelpedmefacetherealityandimprovemyselfmorequickly.Fromher,Ihavelearnedbothknowledgeandgoodvirtues.Herbehavioralwaysremindsmetobeoptimisticinfaceofdifficultiesandtobepatientwiththepeoplearoundme.Fortheseresons,sheiswithoutdoubtthebestheroinmyheart.（203字）点评：这篇文章之所以成为人大附的高分范文，最主要的原因在于作者能够很好的将要点融入到高级的长难句当中，并且全文无语法错误，通读下来十分流畅，思路清晰，层次分明，表达高级。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.IhavealwaysregardedmyEnglishteacherasmyherobecauseofherpatientandkindness.我总是把我的英语老师当成我的英雄，因为她的耐心和友好。2.Notonlyisshearesponsibleperson,butalsosheisveryoptimisticandoftenencouragesustoworkharderwhenwefeeldown.不仅因为她是一个负责的人，还因为她乐观的态度并且经常在我们失落的时候鼓励我们。（此句以notonly开头语法上需要倒装，后面butalso运用正常语序即可，并且作者并不满足于知识套用这个句型而是继续把句子写长加上了when引导的时间状语从句）3.sheisthoughtfulandpatientandisalwaystheretohelpuswhenwecomeacrossproblemseitherwithourstudiesorwithourlives.她思虑周全又有耐心，还经常在我们遇到学习或生活中的困难时帮助我们。（此句又是一个成功的长句，首先是thoughtful和patient这些小词用的精准贴切，其次是不仅运用when引导时间状语从句还有either…or…和准确运用。）4.infaceofdifficulties面对困难5.Sb.iswithoutdoubt…某人毫无疑问是…范文二：（人大附12分）Everyonehashisheroinhisheart.Myheroismyteacher－Ms.Gao.Sheiskindandhelpful.AndIstillremembertheexperiencethatmademegetbackmyconfidenceinthenation-wideEnglishspeechcompetitionlastyear.Atfirst,Ididn’tknowwhattowriteformyspeech,butaftertalkingtomyteacherandreadingsomebooks,IhadsomeideasandwithMs.Gao’shelp,Ipracticemyspeechmanytimes.Onthedayofthecompetition,Isawmanypeoplethereandthismademefeelverynervous.IstartedtoworrythatIwouldforgetmyspeech.ThenIrememberwhatMs.Gaotold10 me－closemyeyesandtakedeepbreaths.Ididthatanditmademefeelmuchbetter.Whenmyturncame,Igavemyspeechwithconfidence.IwaitedanxiouslyfortheresultandwhenIheardthatIwasthefirstpricewinner,Ijumpedupanddowninjoy.Inaword,sheisaniceandhelpfulteacherinmyheart.Sheisarealheroinmyheart.（186字）点评：这篇文章首先比较好的一点是内容完整，讲述的故事的阐释力比较强，但是没有能上一档文的一个重要原因在于写的比较保守，词汇运用比较简单，短句较多，让人眼前一亮的长句少，几乎没有。结尾也比较简单。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.Istillremembertheexperiencethatmademegetbackmyconfidenceinthenation-wideEnglishspeechcompetitionlastyear.我依然记得的一次经历是去年国家级英语演讲比赛时让我重拾信心。（作为这篇文章中仅有两个好句中的一个长句，首先由that定语从句，后面还加上了地点和时间状语）2.IwaitedanxiouslyfortheresultandwhenIheardthatIwasthefirstpricewinner,Ijumpedupanddowninjoy.我焦急地等待结果，当我听到自己获得第一名的时候高兴得跳起来。3.Jumpupanddowninjoy开心地跳上跳下话题三：你是否符合“文明之星”范文一：（101中学12月考15分）Ithinkmybehaviorsurelymeetthestandardofbeing“astarstudentofcivility”.Iampoliteandmodestallthetime.Ihavenevertalkedbacktomyparentsathomeeveniftheyarestronglyagainstmyidea.Besides,Ineverbreakinwhiletheyarevoicingtheiropinions.What’smore,Ineverfailtokeepawayfromdirtywords.Indeed,Ineverinsultorlookdownuponothers.Inaddition,Ilovehelpingothers.I’malwayseagertohelppeoplearoundmewhentheyhavedifficulties.Onweekends,Ialsotakeoversomehouseworkfrommyparents,likesweepingandmoppingthefloor.I’mwillingtobelikethatanddothesethings.Politenessisanobvioussymbolofcivilizationandtherewillbenodifferencesbetweenhumansandanimalsifeveryoneisrude.IalsoconsiderhelpingothersawonderfulthingwhenothersbenefitfrommyhelpandIgetgreatpleasureatthesametime.Helpingothers,ashaslongbeenpraisedasamorality,playsanindispensableroleincivility.Ineverfeeltiredorfed-upwhenIdosuchthings,thoughsometimesthey’reexhaustingorevenpains-taking.I’mhappytobelikewhatIamtodayandthemoreI’mpoliteandhelpful,themoreIgetencouragedtocarryon.Ireallyenjoycivility.IthinkI’mqualifiedtobea“starstudentofcivility”,Iwouldbeverygladifyouchooseme.Thanksalot.10 (246字)点评：这篇文章从整体，从每一句话的细节上都有可圈可点的地方，唯一的一个小瑕疵就是字数偏多，应该控制在215字左右会更佳。整篇文章结构清晰，思路完整，内容丰富，搭配和表达都很地道，很多长句很高级并且包含很多高级词汇，是一篇难得的佳作。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.meetthestandardof…符合…的标准2.againstone’sopinion反对某人的建议3.eagertohelppeoplearoundmewhentheyhavedifficulties.渴望帮助我身边的人，当她们遇到困难的时候。4.takeoversomehousework掌管一些家务活5.likesweepingandmoppingthefloor.比如扫地拖地。6.playsanindispensablerolein...在…中扮演不可或缺的角色7.Ineverfeeltiredorfed-upwhenIdosuchthings,thoughsometimesthey’reexhaustingorevenpains-taking.当我做这些事的时候我从来不会觉得累或者厌倦，虽然这些事有时候令人疲倦甚至煞费人苦心。8.Carryon继续9.bequalifiedto…有资格做某事10.IalsoconsiderhelpingothersawonderfulthingwhenothersbenefitfrommyhelpandIgetgreatpleasureatthesametime.我把帮助别人看成是一件很美妙的事情，当我能帮助他们获益并且我自己也能从中收获快乐。话题四：假期生活及新学期打算范文一：人大附ThissummervacationIwenttoKenyawithmyfather.Itisabeautifulcountrywhichhasalotofwildanimals.Wetookacarandsawagreatnumberofgnusandelephantseatinggrass.Thefoodtherewereverydelicious.WetriedmanykindsoftraditionalEnglishdinerinKenya.Afterdinnerwealwaystookawalkaroundthehotelandenjoyedtheviewoftheskywhichwasfilledwithstars.Inaword,IhadaverygoodtimeinKenya!Asforthenewterm,Ihavealreadymadeseveralplans.Letmetellyousome!Firstly,I’mgoingtolearnwaterpainting.Ithinkit’llbeabitdifficultforme,butIdecidetohaveatry.What’smore,IplantoreadafantasticEnglishbooknamedJaneEyre.ItwillhelpmeimprovemyEnglish.Howaboutyou?Wheredidyougoonyousummervacation?Doyouhaveanyplanforthenewterm?Writetomesoonandtellmesomeofyourplans.(176字)点评：10 这篇范文很突出的一个点在于语言表达的自然流畅，前后衔接过渡好，具备良好的英语表达能力，并且有运用长句的意识，全文三个部分层次分明，内容充实。实用借鉴词组及句型：1．enjoytheviewofsth.欣赏…的美景2．takeawalk散步3．fantastic极好的4．Afterdinnerwealwaystookawalkaroundthehotelandenjoyedtheviewoftheskywhichwasfilledwithstars.晚饭后，我们总是在酒店附近散散步，欣赏繁星满天的美景。话题五；向外国人介绍中国礼仪1.whatareyousupposedtodowhenyoumeetsomeoneforthefirsttime?whatshouldyoudowhenolderpeopleareatthedinnertable?2.Whatdoyouusuallydotobepoliteathomeandatschool?3.WhatisthemostimportanttogetalongwithpeopleinChina?范文一；（人大附）AsthemannersinAmericaisnotexactlyparalleltooursinChina,it’smypleasuretoinformyouofourcustoms.Whenwemeetforthefirsttime,it’sacceptabletoshakehandswitheachother.We‘renotsupposedtohavemealsuntilolderpeoplestarttoeat,andatthesametime,wechildrenshouldlowerourcupsabitasamarkofrespect.Besides,wekeeppolitebothathomeandatschool.Insteadofaskingparentsforhelpfromtimetotime,servingthemacupofteamaybeofhelptodriveawaytheirtiredness.Peopletalkingbacktotheirparentsareconsideredasimpoliteguys,andwealwaysvolunteertotakeonhouseworkduringourfreetime.Atschool,werespectaltheclassmatesandteachers.Andevenifweshineatsomething,we’reexpectedtobemodestallthetime,whichisseenasatraditionalvirtue.Doyoufeeluneasywhilereadingtheseendlessmanners?Actually,thelocalpeopleareveryeasytogetalongwith,aslongasyou’repoliteandfriendly,whichisthemostimportant.ApleasantlifeinBeijingishand-in-handwithyourgoodbehaviors.Isuggestyoufollowthesecustoms.Iguessthereliesmydutytohelp!Ihopeyou’llenjoyyourselfinBeijing.（221字）点评：这篇范文最突出的特点就是能够熟练套用各类建议类的句型且无语法错误，句型多样。此外整篇文章的衔接自然，思路层次比较清晰，内容完整，表达流畅，有很强的借鉴性。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.beparallelto与…平行10 1.it’sacceptableto…做某事是可接受的2.sb.supposedto…某人应该做某事3.asamarkof…是…的标志4.insteadofdoingsth,doingsth.maybeofgreathelpto…与其做某事，不如做某事来…5.beconsideredas被认为是6.sb.suggestssb.(should)dosth.建议某人做某事7.Actually,thelocalpeopleareveryeasytogetalongwith,aslongasyou’repoliteandfriendly,whichisthemostimportant.事实上，当地人都很好相处，只要你能够有礼貌并且友好，这才是最重要的。范文二：（人大附）I’mgladtohearfromyou.WelcometoBeijing.IamgladtotellyousomeimportantmannersinChina.Tobeginwith,it’salwaysimportanttogivepeopleagoodfirstimpression,sowearesupposedtogreetpeoplebyshakinghandsinsteadofhugging.Besides,wearenotexpectedtocallsomeone’snamedirectly.Thereisalsosomethingyouneedtorememberwhenolderpeopleareatthedinnertable.It’snecessaryforustostarteatingafterolderpeople.Inaddition,wearesupposedtoholdourcupslowerthantheolderpeople’swhenwecheertogether.Iholdtheviewthatitisimportantforustobepolitebothatschoolandathome.Asforme,Ineverfailtogreetteachersnomatterwearefamiliarornot.What’smore,Ialwayshelpclassmatesinneedforthat’swhatfriendshipreallymeans.Besidesthat,I’mgladtohelpmyparentstodohouseworkathome,foritcanreleasetheirpleasurefromwork.Lastbutnotleast,Inevertalkbacktomyparentsathome.Tosumup,IbelievethemostimportantthingtogetalongwithChinesepeopleistorespectthem.Chinesepeoplearequietwarm-heartedandifyouhaveanydifficulties,don’tbenervoustoaskforhelp.IhopeyouenjoyyourselfinBeijing.(227字)点评：首先这篇范文最好的一个值得其他考生学习的一个点在于它的衔接词，非常丰富并且符合语境，上文中标紫色的均是（tobeginwith;besides;inaddition;asforme;what’smore;besidesthat;lastbutnotleast;tosumup）此外对于同一语意，作者也尽量多用不同的表达法，例如Ibelieve和Iholdtheviewthat…,并且还有表示建议类的多种表达法的句型课参照下面。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.wearesupposedtogreetpeoplebyshakinghandsinsteadofhugging.我们应该在与人问候时握手而不是拥抱。（这句话与一般同学写的weshouldshakehandswithothers要高级的地方在于首先“应该”换成了besupposedto其次后面还有一个insteadof加长句子）2.beexpectedto=besupposedto=itisnecessaryto这三个表达法都可以运用到建议类的书写中10 1.sb.neverfailto…某人从不错失机会去…2.tosumup=inconclusion=allinall=inone/aword表示总结的段落可以用这几个开头。3.warm-heartedr热心的话题六：最喜欢的礼物范文一：2中14分Ihavereceivedalotofpresentsbutmyfavoriteoneisanice-creamcakewhichwassentbymybestfriend.WegotinafightonedayandIwasverysad.Ithoughtshewouldnevertalkwithme.Buttomysurprise,shecametovisitmeandbroughtmeanice-creamcakewhichwaswithcookiesandchocolatesonit.ThecakewaslovelyandIwasmoved.Wesharedthecaketogetherandwhenthesmoothandfrozenice-creamrushedintomymonth,IthoughtIhavetastedthefriendship.Thecakeismyfavoritegiftever.（102字）点评：这篇文章最好的一个点在于取材，内容很感人，书写流畅，无语法错误，所以读过来十分享受的同时，作者又很好地阐释啦自己最喜欢的礼物，美中不足的是字数相对较少，内容上应该再多一些扩充，特别是最后的感想关于友谊的部分可以再展开。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.getinafight闹别扭2.toone’ssurprise让某人吃惊的是3.tastethefriendship品尝到来友谊的滋味。（这里使用的“通感”的修辞手法，本来是尝到蛋糕的味道，从而感受到友谊，这里直接尝到友谊，感官上相通。）4.rushintomymonth冲进我嘴里的滋味（这里rush这个动词用得十分巧妙，形象地表现了味觉上的一种冲击）话题七：节日－重阳节范文一：（人大附14分）DoubleNinthFestivalisatraditionalChinesefestival,whichusuallyliesonSeptember9th,Chineselunarcalendar.Itisasymbolofreunionaswellasshowingrespecttothesenior.InChina,atleastinmyobservation,mostofuswillreturnhometocelebrateitwiththeoldbyhavingdinnertogetherorgoingouttoclimbmountains.Asforme,I,togetherwithmysister,usuallyhelpourgrandparentstocookdinnerandcleantheroom,whichmakesussatisfied.Apartfromcleaningtheroom,wealsotelljokestomakethemhappy.10 Thereisnodenyingthatitisofgreatimportancetorespecttheold,foritcanbringusanincomparableopportunitytoappreciatethebeautyofhelpingothers.Sohelptheoldwithme!(131字)点评：这篇文章乍一看，篇幅比较少却能拿到人大附的14分高分，主要在于作者的长句运用能力比较强，而且表达地道，能够很好的运用插入语以及一些高级词和词组。实用借鉴词组及句型：1.lieon位于，处在2.Itisasymbolofreunionaswellasshowingrespecttothesenior.它是团圆的象征，也展示累对老人的尊重。3.atleastinmyobservation至少据我观察4.I,togetherwithmysister,usuallyhelpourgrandparentstocookdinnerandcleantheroom,whichmakesussatisfied.我和我妹妹经常帮助我们的爷爷奶奶煮饭，打扫房间，这让我们获得一种满足感。（这句话句型十分好，可以借鉴；首先是“togetherwithsb.”的替换变成一个插入语，比普通的“and”连接要更加地道；其次后面再接一个非限制性定语从句，使得句子结构更加丰富，后面makeussatisfied还可以改成offersusasenseofsatisfaction.）5.Apartfrom除了…以外6.Thereisnodenyingthat不可否认的是…7.Sth.beofgreatimportance某事很重要8.foritcanbringusanincomparableopportunitytoappreciatethebeautyofhelpingothers.因为它能给我们带来一个欣赏助人之美的无可比拟的好机会。10